Wedding Planning: Tips from Real Couples

August 18th, 2024

Planning your wedding is a daunting task, and when you've only been to a few weddings as a guest, understanding what's involved and accounting for all the little details can seem overwhelming. How do you know if you found the right wedding venue? Will it feel rushed on the day?

Who better to ask than couples who have gone through their very own wedding planning journey! So get a cup of tea and read through the experiences of some of my favourite couples from last year - Rachel & David, Freddie & Caspian, Calynn & Johan, Rosie & John and Ann & Jamie.

The Wedding Venue: How did you know you'd found "The One?"

Ann & Jamie chose Arniston House for their August wedding near Edinburgh.

"It was the first venue we'd viewed and we both loved it immediately. We liked the grounds, the green space and the ceremony space in the Orangery. We viewed one other venue just to be absolutely sure this was "the one" and we were. We'd toyed with a city centre venue but ultimately felt we wanted a more "rural" venue with lots of green space around..."

"We did tours of three venues, all around the same area (where Caspian grew up). We saw two on the first day, and while both were lovely, we each had a favourite - and they didn't match! We saw the third venue the next day and both loved it immediately. We stepped out of the car and saw the grounds, and it was love at first sight..."

Caspian & Freddie fell in love with the Glentanar Ballroom near Aboyne in Aberdeenshire for their spring wedding.

"Loved the Signet Library's beauty. Perfect location for us. Blown away by architecture, pillars, stained glass windows. Knew we'd get amazing service and our guests would be well looked after..."

Rosie & John married had a truly Edinburgh wedding, marrying in the heart of the Royal Mile. Their ceremony took place at St Giles' Cathedral followed by a luxury reception at The Signet Library.

Finding your venue is definitely one of the most challenging part of planning your wedding. It sets the tone for everything else that follows, from your wedding styling to the atmosphere that your guests experience. Listen to your gut throughout the wedding venue hunt - both when something feels right, and when it feels wrong. Make sure that you are united in what you are looking for in a venue - does it need to be rustic, have flexibility for bringing your own vendors, on-site accommodation?

Pro Tip - choose a Wild Card venue to visit. It's great to see something that's in contrast to another venue that you love - you'll either fall more in love with your favoured venue, or it'll open your mind to even more possibilities.

The Wedding Planning: What did you find the most challenging?

"All of it was hard!!!! We had an initial budget which we quickly realised we were going to go over but deciding how much we were willing to go over by was the tricky part- we'd agreed some things we wouldn't compromise on and we'd pay the price for that if need be (ie photographer!). As our wedding required us to pick our own vendors (pros & cons to it!), I remember trying not to get overwhelmed by all the possible choices and being decisive and certain we'd picked the right people once we'd made our decision to book them. Our venue had a list of preferred vendors already which narrowed things down but scrolling through Instagram was useful too especially for photography, florists and hair and make up I think as these things are better seen visually. Also trying to make sure we'd not missed booking anything and running down the list repeatedly: caterers, celebrant, photographer, band etc etc..."

Ann & Jamie had a blank canvas for their wedding at Arniston House, but they pulled it altogether on top of their busy lives as doctors, as well as moving house and arranging for family to fly over from halfway round the world in Malaysia.

"Guest List and sticking to a budget. Also I thought that the whole wedding process brought about so many emotions good and bad as it makes you really think about everything in more depth..."

Rachel & David mastered the wedding planning experience for their special day at Dundas Castle. Their wedding party played an important role in their planning process, accompanying them on the journey up from Cambridgeshire for a venue visit and occasionally joining our pre-wedding planning calls.

"The hardest part was sifting through what was actually important to us, rather than what was just expected or traditional. There were some things that we did because they were important to family members, but we saved a lot of time, money, and stress by just saying no!"

Freddie & Caspian's wedding was guided by their personalities - with their love for books, films & TV series a central theme for their wedding styling and decor.

Best Wedding Planning Tip

Every couple will find different aspects of wedding planning challenging. Working as a team and keeping focus on yourselves and what you want will go a long way to keeping the planning aspect fresh and close to your hearts. Choose a day to plan your wedding together, divide tasks between each other and when things get overwhelming, take a minute to pause and reflect.

"I think remembering the entire point of the day is a big thing. In the greater scheme of things, the day isn’t about having a specific type of flower on the tables or what nail colour the bridesmaids have. The day is about love and the commitment you’re making. The rest is extra details and not worth the stress and meltdown when something goes wrong. Because something will go wrong - nothing is perfect. But it honestly doesn’t matter..."

Calynn & Johan's wedding at Drumtochty Castle truly did feel like a perfect day, and I suspect that their relaxed attitude and focus on their love for each other played a huge part in that. Planning their wedding from South Africa added an extra complication to their wedding planning journey, but their love for each other was always their priority.

"Be very organised, ask for help, make sure you make it true to you as a couple and not be influenced by others or social media, have good people around you who fight your corner, enjoy every moment as it goes so quickly..."

Great advice from Rachel & David. In today's modern age of social media, it can be so easy to feel like you need to compete against others for the perfect wedding, whether it's following trends, copying celebrities or overspending to match the look & feel of an Instagram post you once saw.

"Enjoy it. Treat your appointments as mini-celebrations. Especially the menu and wine-tasting..."

Rosie & John's advice is spot on. Wedding planning can quickly fade from excitement to extra work, so it's important to keep that excitement alive and enjoy your wedding planning journey together.

No matter how many months or years in advance you are planning your wedding, it can easily go from being an excitable part of your week to a chore you'll want to ignore. The best way to avoid your wedding planning journey turning into a stress-fest is to be as organised as possible, work as a team to delegate tasks between yourselves, don't be afraid to ask for help, and even designate a dedicated date for wedding planning.

And as Rosie & John say - enjoy it! Your wedding planning journey should be an exciting part of being engaged.

Wedding Photography: What one image were you most keen to get?

For Calynn & Johan, their priority was their first kiss.

"Our first kiss after being pronounced as married. That was a symbolic and important moment to have captured without anyone else in the shot but us starting this journey together..."

A First Kiss is an essential shot for me and it's something that I plan for when I'm photographing ceremonies. You can't have a first kiss photo from just any angle, so consider what's going to be in the background of your first kiss shot. A flower arch, moongate or mantelpiece topped with flowers or candles are favoured by many couples.

For romantics Caspian & Freddie, their couples portraits were something they were looking forward to:

"We both were most excited about the couples portraits - we really wanted a beautiful vibrant photo of us both to capture the day (and Stephanie delivered in spades!). Individually, Freddie really wanted an extended family photo, as his family are scattered around the world and don't all come together very often. Caspian specifically wanted a first look with both sets of parents, to share a moment just with them on the day..."

To me, couples portraits are not something to skip or want to keep to a minimum. This is your wedding day, and you'll want to capture that excitement, love and romance in your gallery. It's also important to consider what family photos are important to you, as occasions where all the family are together can be rare. Never underestimate how important a first look between you and your parents is on your wedding day - it's an emotionally charged moment that's deeply personal and unrepeatable.

Wedding Photography: Top tips for beating those nerves for camera shy couples?

"We were very nervous as a couple who never takes pictures of ourselves. What really helped was building a relationship with our amazing photographer. Having meetings and engagement shoots help build comfort and confidence in who is handling the camera on the big day. Other than that, be present with your love, enjoy being with them and the romantic pictures will come..."

It's so important to be yourselves in front of your wedding photographer. When you act naturally, you'll have more of a connection to your photos when you look back through your gallery.

"We were a little nervous, but more excited! Part of that was choosing the right photographer and having a chat with Stephanie beforehand - she really put us at ease. Our one piece of advice would be to 'just say yes' - if your photographer suggests a shot, trust their expertise and go with it! Some of our favourite photos were spontaneous ideas because of the way the light was falling, or something in the environment that inspired a pose..."

Spontaneity plays a huge part in couples photos during your wedding day. As a photographer, I'm learning about your personalities throughout the day, understanding what compositions and posing styles might work, figuring out your limits and boundaries all while reading the light and environment to capture the best images for your.

Wedding Photography: Expectation vs Reality

"I was surprised at all the shots Steph managed to take without us noticing she was there, I think they're some of the best ones in our gallery. The ones of us laughing during our ceremony and during our speeches and our first dance. The magic does happen behind the scenes sometimes!"

My approach at Ann & Jamie's wedding is the same for all my weddings - to blend into the background and not be a distraction, but also to allow everyone around me to feel relaxed and at ease through my fun & positive personality.

"We were surprised at how unobtrusive the photography was! For the couples portraits and the candids, we were able to just enjoy our day and do what we wanted while Stephanie worked her magic..."

"We were afraid it would take a longer time and detract from time with our guests. It was so much quicker and seamlessly integrated than we expected..."

"Stephanie listened to our suggestions and ensured we got plenty of time to spend with our guests. She was great at keeping our day and group photos on schedule..."

Time Travel: What piece of advice would you give your past self about your wedding day?

"Things truly do work out in the end. All the little hiccups or things that don't go exactly to plan honestly don't matter, none of your guests would have realised really and just savour every moment of the day as it goes by so so quickly..."

"Remember it doesn't matter what colour your napkins are. Don't sweat the small stuff..."

"Everything will be amazing, don’t put too much pressure on spending time with every single person it’s a lot in one day, enjoy every moment and when eating or seated - make sure you take in with your new spouse all the guests that have travelled to see you get married. It’s a very surreal moment..."

What was your favourite part of your wedding day?

For Calynn & Johan, their favourite memory was their personalised wedding ceremony outside Drumtochty Castle:

"My favourite part of the day was the ceremony. A close friend of ours facilitated the ceremony so it was incredibly personal and unique to us. Beyond that we laughed so much that it really was such a happy moment."

For Ann & Jamie, morning prep & couple time were some of the stand-out memories of their day

"Hair And make up in the morning with the girls, the break for taking couple shots as it gave us some breathing space amidst the wonderful madness, the meal!"

Caspian & Freddie loved their evening reception with their fantastic friendship group:

"The dancing! Our band (The Apollos) were fantastic, and seeing everyone learn to ceilidh dance was hilarious and wonderful."

For Rosie & John, their nuptials and commitment to each other was their most memorable part of their day:

"Saying I do..."

Wedding Hindsight: Would you change anything about your day?

"We wanted to do a dance for the big day but my wedding dress wasn’t really suited for dancing. I might have had a reception dress for the dancing portion if I could do it all over again. Especially for us girls dreaming of being a Disney princess in a pretty dress with a train..."

"Caspian would have given us a little more time to prep in the morning - they felt quite stressed and rushed while getting ready (which is pretty common for them!). Otherwise everything went exactly as we hoped!"

"Wouldn't change a thing ❤️"

There are things you can do to prepare for your wedding day where you can avoid feeling rushed or regretting something on the day. Plan for everything to take a little longer than you expect, practice elements of your day before hand such as walking down the aisle, dip kisses, dancing in your shoes.